Lessons Relearned

Right now I have no less than 6 drafts of blog posts. They’re a combination of half-formed thoughts and abandoned ideas. Things I have either been distracted from, deemed unworthy of finishing or simply given up on.

Usually I don’t have a problem with free thinking prompts, or spaces that give unlimited possibilities to write about. Last semester I was more or less reliable with getting blog posts completed on time, only missing one or two. This time it’s different though and I’m not sure exactly why.

Really, it could be any of the cliche and classic tropes of writers block. (I’m not original enough, I don’t have anything important to say etc. ) It could be plain ole senioritis hitting me right in the gut as I quickly approach the “finish line” for completing a BFA. It could be general laziness or self-doubt or any other schism or excuse or legit reason or or or.

The fact of the matter is, it’s not getting done.

So what now.

(My favorite situation. Here’s the fact of a thing. Knowing that, what’s the next step? Whether it be assignments, creative works, family issues, relationship obstacles, whatever life throws at you. I’ve learned I’m a person who can objectively look at the facts and think to myself. Okay. Given this, what now.)

And yet here I am, rambling and thinking and not doing.

One of the posts I did manage to finish was about constantly relearning and practicing working with an obstacle. (Example in post: my penchant for crying at the drop of a hat.) Here I am again, relearning a lesson I thought I had learned. To stop thinking, and start doing.

So this is me practicing that. It’s not an original thought. In the scale of the world, it’s not huge or impacting. It’s just me. A little artist. Trying to practice what I preach. Acknowledging that I am imperfect and still fighting uphill through lessons I thought I’d learned. Openly admitting my fault. Maybe it’s selfish. Maybe it’s not. But it’s my current truth.

Now what.