Every time someone asks me what I am doing after graduation I begin to think about the endless possibilities before me. My problem is that I want to try everything. I want to do everything. I am endlessly curious and endlessly fascinated with the world and what it has to offer. The realistic side of my brain, however, knows that I need to eventually find a sustainable way of living.
When I say, I want to try everything, it is not just the things that actively have to do with the theatre, it is genuinely EVERYTHING. I want to have a 9-5, be a sommelier, become a member of Die Antwoord, and then take over as Iceland’s government appointed Elf Inspector. I think the reason I have always gravitated to the theatre is because it is the business that lets me explore these things. I, however, want to take that a step further and genuinely experience them. Maybe I can assign myself roles and enter that specific world for a long period of time—like a method actor or an undercover cop.
Recently I typed in “I want to try everything what do I do?” and the first three things that came up were…
- A Shakira song from Zootopia that is called Try Everything, which was rather uplifting. She says she won’t give up because she wants to try everything even though she knows she might fail. Unfortunately, there is still a deep part of me that does not want to fail. But, if I’m planning on trying everything, failure is inevitable. So, thanks Shakira and Zootopia for reminding me.
- Next was an internet question that said, “In our 20s—Why do we want to try everything that our friends, family members, and relatives are doing?” Then had the sub-heading, “Each of us is unique, but then also we try to do things which our friends are doing.” Then there were three annoying answers to this annoying question so I moved on.
- The last thing was a psychology website. It explained, in depth, the difference between divers and scanners. Divers are perfectionists that see things through to the end. They tend to stick to one career or hobby their whole life.
Scanners, however, tend to embrace everything that excites and inspires them. According to this article they don’t fear failure, but they do fear boredom. (I fear both so what does that make me hahaha)
Now within the scanner realm there are two possibilities…
–serial specialists are those who stick to a career or field for 4 or 5 years and excel at what they do. Then, 4 or 5 years later they move on to try something completely different.
–plate spinners are those who like to work on several projects at once. They fall deeply in love with something for a few weeks and then forget why they even loved it in the first place.
I think I want to be the serial specialist, but I’m fearful of being the plate spinner. I want to fully commit to the things I do, while still being able to explore. I think I just have to keep reminding myself that life is long. I can commit myself to one thing for a large chunk of time and still have years and years left for the other things.
The side of my brain that reassures me says that I am the serial specialist because I have dedicated so much of my life to the theatre with limited doubt or need to change careers.
But now that the real world is out there AND I WANT TO DO IT ALL!
I think what is magical about our chosen profession is that it caters to curiosity. It takes a deep commitment, but I think anyone that choses it must be part “scanner”: Without the scanning, the questioning stops. And without the questioning, the art stops.
I just want to make sure I’m not committing because of genuine intrigue about the complexities of the world and not because of a crippling fear of choosing.
So, I think I just reassured myself that I’ll be fine? I think we’ll all be fine. Humanity and the concept of life is the most exciting and terrifying thing in the world and if I think about it too hard or for too long, I might explode…or maybe even implode…who knows?!?!….the possibilities are ENDLESS!
Also p.s. While writing this blog post I almost stopped 3 or 4 times because I wanted to learn about something else.