Lately, I have been contemplating how important time and space is in my life and in relation to creating art. In regards to my day to day life, I realize that I need to learn how to relax, and figure out what exactly helps me relax. I also realize that along with things I may come up with as tools to relax, I must be aware that I am physically and emotionally different at almost every point in time, and thus I must always be asking myself what it is I need. This week I found that one big thing I need to relax, is to slow down my mind. Doing this looks like different actions whether it be meditation, sitting somewhere and observing my surroundings, yoga, watching a silly tv show, or laughing with friends. Relaxing takes time and space and I must demand this of myself. I have figured the easiest way to build a pattern inside me that knows when to relax and how is by taking it day by day checking in with myself perhaps more often than I thought previously necessary.
As an artist, I need space to follow my impulses as a writer. I need space to create and hone a specific artistic voice within my writing. The exciting thing is that I now see that I need time and space to do that, yet similarly to relaxing, I have to figure out what that looks like in my life on a concrete, action based level. Writing, I believe is just as much a calling as acting. I have had years of time and space to focus on growing and deepening my skill as an actor. I feel as if it is now time for me to do that with myself as a writer. I am very afraid and anxious but I know that breaking through that wall of sentiments is the threshold for a deepening of skill and freedom within the form. I feel as if I need a lot of space and a lot of time as soon as possible…it’s as if the stories inside me are pushing me everyday harder, demanding to be written. I have but two action based ideas to tackle this: create a committed writing schedule, and making sure making time and space for my writing is a priority when planning my post-grad life.
I will say, the demanding of time and space for myself, to give myself what I need as a person and artist is difficult…but I know this is the next aggressive act of self love I must work on.