Wednesday November 9th was a very tough day. As a Hillary Clinton supporter and one that surrounds myself with other like minded people, I awoke in the morning with my partner to my side, crying. We rose out of bed feeling like someone had just died. The sense of loss was palpable. I arrived at school to the faces of my peers in utter distress. Each class we had was met with a full fledged, passionate discussion about the election results and how Trumps presidency would impact us. So many tears; everyone was afraid and had good reason to be. We talked and talked about how defenseless we felt. Some, including myself, felt the honest lack of enthusiasm about being in a BFA program. I felt like I was wasting my time being so self indulgent in a profession that seemingly has little to no impact on the political climate. I felt small. So incredibly small.
After the long, seemingly never ending day I went to the South End to park my butt a seat to see ‘Revolt. She Said. Revolt Again’. I felt odd. The room felt odd. I saw some familiar faces which was nice. The embraces were long and full of supportive sighs. There was definitely a palpable tenseness in the room. Everyone seemed to be waiting for something, maybe an answer to the millions of questions.
Ironically the same night of the show there was a huge anti- Trump rally in Boston that was organized by the Socialist Student Union. I desparately wanted to go and raise my voice against that hateful man but I chose to honor the ticket I that had purchased. The show was an hour and fifty minutes of pure release. The ensemble on stage was on fire. I can not say that it was because of the election results and how profoundly they impacted Boston, an extremely liberal town but I knew that each word uttered was an act of political warfare.
This week I have questioned the world deeply. I have felt an overwhelming sense of fear for myself and those I hold close to me. I have wondered about how intact my rights are. I have considered dropping out of theater school. I have listed to a lot and a lot of podcasts..
I’m not convinced I have all of my thoughts in order to process how exactly I am going to move productively forward in the world. Hey, I wrote this blog post so at least I am doing that. In any case, what I have been assured of is that my theatrical study is not for nothing. It is a brave act of compassionate work that can selflessly allow me to touch others and be a part of their healing process. I am convinced that we are all healing from something at all times whether we know it or not. I have not felt the need to see theater as a sort of therapy in a very long time. I do it so often I can forget its potency. I was reminded of that power this past week and I am really, quite grateful.