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“I just saw my first happy person. I hated it.”

my body launched out of bed this morning

backwards hat as my pantsuit

we fell into each other in a studio

singing, wide open spaces

held by the eyes of my peers

held by the eyes of freshmen

singing with freshmen

cold and broken hallelujahs

anyone my arms could reach

hugging a weeping young man,
a weeping black young man,
a weeping eighteen year old black young man,
and wishing that his pain would be absorbed into me

osmosis-ed in to my skin

stupid fucking skin

my debit card got declined buying a smoothie

every person i pass, i think, was it you?

hugged my boss who is actually my friend who is actually my boss

painted a big, backwards clock. irony is hitting me now


curly fries

thought about my gayness

my half-gayness

my whole entire half-gayness

hands on knees

hands in hands

hands on cheeks

hands over eyes

thought about the plan b i took this summer

called mom

we quoted mr rogers:

look for the helpers.

texted my little sister

little sister doesn’t get it

little sister doesn’t get it


saturday morning
she went to a wake for her 15 year old friend, killed in an act of violence
saturday night
the boy she likes held her hand.

last night
a supervillain for president
back to the future 2 was RIGHT

little sister doesn’t get it
little sister doesn’t get it
she’s really excited about this boy, though.

i don’t know what to say to her
i think ill just let her be

i have no snappy blog conclusion

there is so much work to be done.


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