I’ve always been all bark and no bite.
I’ve had almost four years of academic, formal conservatory training which has given me a lot of time to decide a few things about myself. Granted, someone once said that 9/10 of the things you decide about yourself before you’re 20 turn out to be false. But they also say that that 1 thing that sticks reeeeeeeeeally sticks.
I believe in a few things. 1) Justice 2) Safety and 3) New Work
I haven’t had to commit to these beliefs in concrete ways until now, at the dawn of the real-deal thesis process. The rehearsal process.
I’m directing a new play by my peer with my peers. I’m beginning to realize why people stick to the published, the professional, and the distant. This is all very real. This is all very difficult. But when it works, it soars. The little successes are direct results of the most exhaustive listening, most flexible heartstrings, most filling bites of humble pie and the most magic I’ve ever been privy to. I’m also working under an institutional structure while being told to spread my wings. I’m a walking contradiction and I just keep acknowledging that loud and proud in hopes that it will take some of the weight off of my shoulders.
So here’s to embracing the impossible and making my mind’s eye large enough to encompass all of the mountains and valleys of the creative process.