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Finally! Art without Gays, Liberals, and other Blasphemous Content that the Whole Family Can Enjoy

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You remember Rick Santorum.

He’s that crazy guy that managed to win way more states than he should have during the 2012 Republican Presidential Primary.

You know, the Senator who fiercely opposes gay rights, contraception, abortion, pornography, and is considering running for President again in 2016.

However, 2016 is still a long way away, and while it’s a little too early to head out on the campaign trail, Rick Santorum still needs to find a way to stay relevant.

And if you’re rich, white, and conservative…how do you stay relevant?

Hmmm…I know! Attempt to take down Hollywood by starting your own film studio.

And that, my friends, is how we’ve been blessed with Rick Santorum’s EchoLight Studios, a producer and distributor of what they describe as “high-quality” movies that are suitable for the entire family.

Now, if you’re family is anything like my family, you’re probably going to be heading to the movie theatre next week to kill some time during the Thanksgiving holiday break.  A lot of you are probably looking forward to seeing the next installment of The Hunger Games, but why not give EchoLight’s newest production a shot?

It’s called The Christmas Candle, and it comes out today!  It’s about a little 19th-century village in England that is lucky enough to be the home of an enchanted candle that has been blessed by an angel.  Every 25 years, a miracle is bestowed upon whomever lights the candle.  By the looks of the trailer (click the link up top to view), chaos ensues when some little ninimuggin decides to steal the candle for himself.  Also, it seems as though the town will be introduced to electricity for the first time.  Also, Susan Boyle, who you may remember as the woman who sang “I Dreamed a Dream” on Britain’s Got Talent, is making her screen debut. Talk about celebrity casting.

In all seriousness, I’m not opposed to religious film.  It may not be my ideal night at the movies, but you learn to love and accept, do you not?

Here’s my problem.  These films from EchoLight, and The Christmas Candle is just one of them, these are the films that a very powerful man views as ideal for the future of this nation’s art.  Rick Santorum came VERY close to winning to the presidential nomination.  He could make it farther in the next round. He’s been a senator. He has followers.  Lot of followers.  And those people look at contemporary American film, theatre, and art and COMPLETELY reject it in favor of movies like The Christmas Candle.  

This is absurd.  How, how are there people, more than a decade into the 21st century, making these films in RESPONSE to current artistry?

And there’s money in it, too!  Santorum has pledged that EchoLight will grant $250,000 to the winner of the Short Film Category at the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival towards the development of a new work.  Not only that, EchoLight has also just signed a multi-million dollar agreement to produce works from Liberty University’s Cinematic Arts program in Virginia.

Imagine if BU was getting that kind of money for our productions.

Unreal. In a country where artists are scrambling for any sort of funding in order to maintain their individualism and creative process, millions of dollars are going to an organization that demands strict adherence to a doctrine of purity.

Art isn’t pure, Rick.  It’s dirty.  Purity is irrelevant.  I wish you were irrelevant, but unfortunately you’re not, and becoming less and less so, it seems, as the years go on.

So, please, when you’re at the movies or the theatre with your family next week, be thankful for your intellectual and artistic freedom, and be especially thankful to those who are producing dirty, truthful works that reflect humanity rather than do its best to hide it.

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